The Outcast Part 2

Jeff took his things out of his bag into a room that Susie was kind enough to let him have. The police investigation into the old man’s death has been a shocker to everyone. Jeff missed him. The old man surely knew how to make a home feel like a home. The woman police officer said she would tell him if they found out anything as long as he stayed home with Susie. Susie spent her nights crying about the old man just as much as Jeff did. Men aren’t suppose to cry, he thought. Real men have feelings and we show them at different times, he remembered hearing the old man tell him. Smiling he fell asleep.

It wasn’t even two hours after he slept that he heard a loud crash. What the hell..
Getting up with a baseball in hand he heads over to Susie’s room. No sign of her.

Heading towards the kitchen, he sees Susie laying on the floor. Running to her side, he notices she’s still breathing.

“Susie, who did this to you?”, he asked her. Watching her eyes flicker he waits for a response. Nothing. “Just wait, I’ll call the police. You will be fine,Susie. Hang in there!”

Running to the phone, he dials 911. “Hi, I need an ambulance quickly…Susie’s been attacked. I think someone broke…”
“Hold on we are sending am ambulance , the police are on their way”, the emergency responder said.

Jeff didn’t get to hear the rest.. the intruder was holding a gun. It was someone he recognized..

Who broke into the house at night? And why? Was it one of the street gang? If so, what is the person’s motive for the robbery and killing? Find out more in part 3.

Here’s a writing challenge for you: write how you would have written this scene better. Then add what happens next. Post your response down below in the comment area for feedback!

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