Coffee Anyone? by Danielle

It was work day as usual on the USS Mars Navy ship. The navy supplies us the heaviest yet darkest coffee muck to drink. It’s black than black and the bitter hot taste makes you want to spit it all out. But when it’s cold out and you need the caffeine, it’s all we got.

Some can’t handle it all all. Wusses. But for sailors like myself, we can drink it.

So, it was strange when one moment a fellow sailor was sipping his coffee and just as I turned around he was nowhere to be seen. Only a huge spot of what looked to be and smelled like the coffee I was drinking.


“Hey, Stuart it’s time for us to..” Patrick looked down at me wiping the coffee up.

“Where’s Stuart?” Patrick asked.

“I don’t know. He was right here and then the second I turned around he was gone only this mess was left behind.”

“That’s strange..”

“What is?” I asked.

“I have been hearing rumors that sailors on board are disappearing left and right. One second they’re there the next time you look..they’re gone.”

Patrick started stepping out backwards and then ran off to who knows where.

I stood back up, tossed the dirty paper towel into the garbage pin and was about to leave.

The coffee machine was turned off. Or I could have sworn it was. I walked over to turn it off, but it wouldn’t budge. I weighed about 160 and was 6 foot 2. I worked out everyday and did many laps in the pool to stay fit. Turning the coffee switch should have been easy. But it was proving harder than one could imagine.

 Shit. Why is this damn thing stuck. 

Ping! Shit. Major shit. I just broke off the switch and now a huge mass of coffee came pouring on out of the machine. But instead of being the causal liquid…it was coming out like a glob. Just like the spot on the floor. Next thing I see is the coffee glob reaching upward forming into a human body shape..

What the f**k!

Coming to life the glob like coffee monster came walking up to me. Growing larger until it towered above my six foot frame. I stood still. Frozen on the spot just from what I was witnessing. Never in my 10 years as a US Naval Officer have I ever witnessed something like this..

The coffee killing monster.

Red came up into the mess room. Right before him he saw a huge black human like glob structure towering over his six foot friends body. It was about to…eat his friend. Not on his watch!

Running with a broom nearby, Red charged into the black glob only to disappear. The monster before Will grew larger. Running out of of the mess room his shuts the door, only to see the glob after him.

This time larger yet. Men all around were shouting, Will kept on running..

What to do? What to do?

Will turns the corner and the coffee glob follows after him. Eating fellow sailors as he walks, the monster contines after Will.

Damn it. Does this thing ever stop?

Just as Will runs down two steps at a time, the monster catches him..and Will falls.

“Is he up yet?”

“Shh.. the doctor says, he’ll be okay. But that bump on his head will take a while to heal.”

“I guess we better make some more coffee then.”

Will shot up on the lunge and screamed, “No! No coffee! Don’t turn it on!” and without further words Will got up and tossed the coffee maker on the floor where it crashed into many pieces. His fellow mates just stood in shook silence watching their long time friend.

“The monster will not attack us every again!” Will informed them. Then straightening his uniform he headed out of the mess room.

“No more coffee for that guy!”

“Yeah, no kidding. Monster?”

“Must have hit his head too hard.”

Laughing the guys left the mess room leaving the coffee flashing on…




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