In an attempt to deal with the physiological trauma of being molested as a young girl, 28-year-old China agrees to be hypnotized by her therapist to speed up her rehabilitation. During her session, China recollects family secrets of deceit, rape and murder. In order to figure out why her life is upside down, China explores her past of lesbianism, sexual additions, self identity issues and much more. It slowly becomes obvious that China’s choices weren’t the only ones effecting her life because China’s mother, Renee, has a closet of secrets that have shaped China’s destiny as well.
As China fights to provide a better future for herself and learn from the mistakes that cost her the life of her unborn child, she learns there are only two options when dealing with the hard times in life: either triumph or parish.
What the Hell was I Thinking is an urban drama that shows that every thought has an action and every action has a consequence.
Rating: 5 stars
What the Hell Was I Thinking by MZ Joe is a dark urban read. Inside, readers will explore issues that are still being faced within out society today. Child abuse, sexual harassments, and sexual identity. This novel was definitely fast-paced and realistic. The family issues going on were believable and sad. I couldn’t believe all that went on with the main character when she was only a child and then continued as she grew up…then there are the marital issues, molestation, and rape. Quite an eye opener read. The writer left strong points such as watch out for men that are too close your kids and watch your kids at all times. If left unattended, bad things can happen just like what happened to the main character inside this novel. Now, as a grown adult, the character still struggles from her past and present.
What the Hell Was I Thinking takes readers on a young woman’s journey into her past and present. It was also done in a way that makes readers more aware of bad situations. I liked how they MZ Joe kept me guessing as to what would happen next in China’s life. China was raped by a man her mother was having an affair with…and when the affair was ended the man took revenge on China. After that, China was never the same again. Sex was a constant in her life. The story was like a rollercoaster…both good and bad points. This urban fiction was well done. I highly recommend it to readers everywhere.