Okay, so I shared with you a bit on my early disasters with guys and a bit of my whole life summed up. But now, wait for it…..wait for it……yes, you now get a full sneak of my family issues that I had to deal with.
Oh, boring right? Well, wrong. These aren’t just issues but a peak into how I completely embarrass myself constantly.
At the end of my ninth grade year, my dad had left us. He left all three of kids with his parents. If it weren’t for his parents, I don’t what or who I would be today as of right this moment. I could be a totally evil, illiterate, hillbilly who had no life goals. How…disappointing..I instead turned out to be a pro reader, and unfortunately have more life goals than I know what and how to achieve them all.
So, my siblings and I went through one hell of a shocker when dad left and never said a goodbye. That’s when I lost all respect that I did have for my father. It was gone. Nada. Goodbye! Hello, grandparents!
I love my grandparents, however, we kids had a rough time not getting yelled at because we were kids we make mistakes and like most kids we blamed the other kids. I being the oldest of the bunch was the worse one when it came to accepting all responsibility. My brother, the middle kid, end of taking all the blame. I mean who would go blaming a beautiful baby girl, the youngest and the baby of te family for doing something wrong? No one that’s who!
I kind of realized what I was doing..and at the same time, I still blamed my brother. I was te most immature older sister anyone has ever meet. One word I would use to describe my younger self was a brat! Yes, I can admit I was an obnoxious outrageous little pest in the whole world. No denial here. Just a lot of shame, that I was like that.
Probably drove my little brother nuts. I don’t know. Anyway, my siblings were straight A students since kindergarten. Me….I did well in kindergarten got passed onto the first grade and then got held back a year. I remember those days. I couldn’t talk to former classmates because I was so humiliated by my lack of intelligence at the time. I wanted to hide in a wall somewhere, unfortunately all the walls were perfectly flat no crevices to hide in at all. I was a loner from first grade up until my third grade year.
So, everyday my siblings would come home with perfect grades. All A’s. Me…I was making D’s in math in everything we did in the awful subject. I still hate it to this day. It wasn’t until 8th grade that I finally made a B in everything I did in Math. Yeah, late bloomer. I was a major disappointment as an older sibling. My younger siblings loved the outdoors, were into sports and super smart. Me …I lacked in smarts, I preferred indoors, hated sports, and liked my solitude. Sounds like a loser right? I sure acted like one.
Growing up without a proper mom, sucked. I had no one to talk to about boys, my feelings, or girl stuff with. My 5th grade year, I got my girl thing. A year before everyone else. I was on the hot school bus on our way home, when I realised something was wrong with me. It wasn’t until I got home, I realized why. How embarrassing right? I had to go up to my grandma and tell her. I didn’t feel comfortable telling her nor telling someone like my dad. But, I had to tell somebody right?
Sixth grade came around and all the other girls got theirs. I felt like a wise old woman. Because I knew everything about having the girl thing. So, a lot of girls were coming up to me asking questions. Felt nice to know something that everyone else didn’t know about yet and to be looked up to. Made me feel great for a time being. Then I got into major trouble because I befriended a girl who was boy crazy. I wrote notes to guys to meet me in the library, and I never gave the notes to these guys…and well. My grandma went through my drawers, found the notes..and guess what?
She thought me, a sixth grader wrote these notes to the guys to meet me in our school library to have sex!
I didn’t know what that word meant or what it was about. But man, looking back at that day and what my grandma jumped to made me feel worried of what she thought of me as her granddaughter. I mean I was only 12 years old. What twelve-year-old girl thinks about sex at the age? Okay maybe now-a-days girls might, but back then hell no, we didn’t. I told my grandma no repeatedly to that outrageous thought but she didn’t believe me at all. How do you convince someone you’re not lying when they already perceive you as guilty so fast? I didn’t know what to do or to say to change her mind. It’s funny though…because I can’t lie worth a dime. It’s easy to tell when I do lie. I can try to lie but I know I will never get away with it, unless half of the story is true. But, I was telling the whole truth and yet, I wasn’t believed. Adults! Omg…
They think they know everything…
However, being an adult myself, it’s not easy. I don’t know everything. I have my faults, fears, and bad days. I do try to be the best I can be but most days, I feel like I fail rather than succeed.
My grandma is the strictest person I know. But she also is the move loving grandma I know. She loves you so much that she can’t let go of some of her old habits and ways of doing things. It’s the modern-day and time, yet she and now my grandpa struggle with letting us have freedom to make mistakes. So, every time we did make mistakes, and we did make a lot of them, they would jump down on us fast! Like a German Shepard jumping down on a robber who broke in. Yikes!!!!
My grandpa use to be that cool guy who let us go to everything, which left my grandma playing the bad cop role 99.99999% of the time.
Now, it’s just they are so worried about us kids especially, with the way the world has been turning out. Going to college, doesn’t look like fun anymore. Gun shooters everywhere. Random colleges been victims of these horrible crimes. Maybe doing college online is one’s safest bet. Right? What could possible go wrong with online classes? Um…maybe the price!
If your grandparent tells you to sweep of the deck and you do it too slow beware, they will attack. Just like a snake always trying to strike at your heel. I swept the porch too slow..got yelled at. I swept it faster, I got yelled at for sweeping it the wrong way!
So, then they come out take the broom from me and sweep it themselves. And then it comes…my being lefty is the reason I wasn’t doing sweeping it right! Really? Come on! Of all the things for an excuse to yell and that’s why? I was sweeping the deck off wasn’t I?
Days like that made me angrier that a swarm of bees when something tries attacking their hive.
Family, you got to love them.
Love them for their worst, love them for their best, love them because love is the best gift of all.